• syedanser03

The Quarantine Conundrum (& how to escape it)

DISCLAIMER: The following piece is imbued with sarcasm down to its very core. Do NOT take it seriously (Unless it’s actual good advice, then maybe pay attention).


HELLO READERS!! Syed Anser here. I am a new addition to the Calm during Covid-19 team. I am extremely honoured to be a part of such an elite and noble group of people (this is the kind of kiss-assery that got me in BTW) [ ;) JK]. On a more serious note though, I am proud of everyone who does something to help anyone in this time of crisis.


In these difficult times it is important to keep in touch with your friends and close relatives. Participate in group chats and video calls with your buddies to keep yourself busy. Always keep your head clear. Do not let your thoughts get clogged up (keep laxatives on hand) {Ahh yes, poop jokes. Never get old} [I’m just waiting for Disney to copyright this because they have the monopoly in bathroom jokes].

If you find yourself with nothing to do, try completing your schoolwork (you silly piece of sausage).

Speaking of online classes, here are some ways you can skip them or avoid giving answers {if any teachers are reading this, maybe skip ahead?}:

1) I can’t join due to “technical difficulties”

2) My mic is not working (this backfires 65% of the time)

3) I forgot about the class and didn’t check my phone for updates (the teacher ain’t buying this one)

4) Good ol’ went to take a dump

5) Ignorance is bliss


Another way to keep your head clear is to keep yourself busy. This is where the term “Quaran-binge” comes into play {pretty sure I coined that BTW :/ }[I didn’t].

You can watch tons of movies, cartoons, TV shows on the various online platforms available to us. If you need entertainment just hop on Netflix / Amazon Prime / Disney+ Hotstar or even YouTube for that matter. With Netflix releasing new web series / movies, Prime not far behind and Disney acquiring Hotstar, a ton of previously unavailable content just went up for grabs. All this entertainment available at your fingertips; it’s basically a life-hack. Also if you haven’t already, introduce yourself to the world of stand-up comedy (it’s worth your time, trust me). In these times, everyone sure can use a laugh. So hop on to Netflix and / or Prime and start watching the latest stand-ups.

I myself am quite the TV buff, so if you want to discuss TV shows/ web series/ movies, you can count on me as someone to talk to.



And always remember, if the screen fails you, you cannot go wrong with a good book. The smell as you turn the pages, the snuggling into bed with a mystery thriller on a cold winter night, a good book is paradise.


And now it is time for:

Utterly Useless Facts with Syed Anser:

Did you know that the dark greyish color you see when you open your eyes in a pitch black room is called “Eigengrau”? Of course you did not. This fact does not hold any significance at all (much like the government) [Not saying which one cos I don’t want to get deported].




Unsurprisingly, these days our thumbs travel more than our body. Due to all the scrolling, the average thumb travels somewhere between 50-100 meters per day, much more than our feet, mostly because we have nowhere to go. This means that by the next few months, our thumbs will be fitter than the rest of our bodies which is hilarious if you think about it.


That will be all for now. Use the time given to you. It’s a gift. Until next time, Stay safe; I will come back soon; GOODBYE!

©2020 by Calm during Covid-19.

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